My left leg and other oddities

I have discovered something.  I'm right legged.  Over the past year or so, I've noticed that when we are standing during worship at church, that my right leg keeps time to the music.  My left leg is unable to keep the beat.  So I've come to the conclusion that I'm right legged.

Now, I know your attention never wanders during church.  This is no reflection on the music, service, or anything else other than my ADDishness at times.  Someone out there is shocked that I focus on my leg during church (others of you know how fitting it is!).  It's not a focus, more of a passing thought.  But it plagues me.  Every service.  This inability of my left leg to keep time. 

Now I notice other odd things about me.  I drive better with my left hand.  Especially if my right hand has a cup of coffee or a phone.  I cannot swap hands and be as proficient.  I'm liable to spill my coffee.  And that would be a tragedy!

I talk to myself when I'm alone.  Out loud.  In the car.  Sometimes I even argue with myself.  Sometimes I tell off someone who made me mad.  Of course sometimes people I know notice and tell me they saw me "singing" at a traffic light the other day.  Yup.  Beltin' one out!  That's not the odd part.  I think all of you do that too, you just don't admit it!  But when I talk to myself, if I say a word I wouldn't normally say in front of my children, I apologize.  To the empty van.  And to God.  Because they both care that I just said, "crap" in front of no one.  

Now I know some of you are thinking, "That's not ALL that's odd about you!"  Hush.  Some things just don't need to be said out loud.   ;)

I have a sarcastic streak in me a mile wide that my husband and children are privileged to deal with 24/7.  There are times when I am in a very sincere conversation with someone, that I have to really restrain myself from voicing the sarcastic thoughts that are flowing through my mind.  It's like some sort of curse!  Every once in a while Tony will suggest that we work on lessening the sarcasm around the house.  That's like telling Shrek to not be sarcastic.  I just tell him that's why he married me.  For my caustic wit! 

I take great joy things that are a bit odd.  The fact that our 25 lb dog is afraid of rain (not storms just rain), squirrels when it's dark, and getting his paws wet make me laugh probably harder than it merits.  I love when our teenager, who is brighter than me, uses words like "rhetorical", almost correctly, but not quite. (i.e. while reading Harry Potter, "How does getting bitten by a werewolf kill you?  That's probably one of those rhetorical questions.")  I love that when discussing superpowers we'd like, our 6 year old's would be to have a fairy. 

I have to restrain myself from rearranging the dishwasher EVERY time someone else loads it.  Wrong.  Because there is a right way to load the dishwasher just as there is a right way to put the roll of toilet paper (over).  I think I'm a bit like that crazy guy in Ace Ventura sometimes, "Laces OUT!"  There's also a right and wrong way to fold towels and I compulsively refold them after someone else does it.  Same with t-shirts.  My husband has actually been telling me for 17 years to stop folding his undies.  Yeah, good luck with that one!  

I order a large coffee at the drive through with 2 splendas and 10 creamers just to hear the reaction.  OK, I do love the creamer in my coffee but I love the, "How many creamers did you say?" reaction.  

I have to restrain my laughter when one of my kids asks a question loudly that embarrasses the other person about something dumb the person is doing.  Like, "Mommy if cigarettes are so stinky and kill you, why is that man smoking one?"  "Mom, why does that man have a ring in his nose?"  "Why is that woman in the store in just her bra?"  I know it's inappropriate and I am extraordinarily juvenile!  I do correct the kids before the person in question comes after us.  But inside?  I'm dying laughing. 

I check Face Book before I check my email. 

I always check the mailbox for spiders before sticking my hand in there!

I occasionally make raw cookie dough using splenda and justify it's "healthier", but I hide it from the kids! 

Sometimes I go in the bathroom, pretending I gotta go, and lock myself in just to get 5 minutes alone.  Usually gets me about 30 seconds. 

Well I'm sure most of you could add 50 things to this that are odd about me.  Just food for thought that I'm odd and still found a man to marry me and his family hasn't pretended not to know us yet.  That's always a possibility after they read this though!  :)