|Sir Winston Churchill Gonzalez|
Reminds me of the first year after we adopted Will, Lydia, and Madi. That whole honeymoon period? Yeah, that lasted about 2 days! Then? The tantrums, biting, food issues, emotional roller coasters in all 6 of us...AAAHHH! I distinctly remember wondering on so many occasions if I had what it took to do this. I mean, I know God doesn't make mistakes, doesn't give us anything he doesn't give us the tools the handle; But really? I was drowning. I was so overwhelmed with their needs that normal life threatened to take me down (I cried on many occasions over the laundry!
God had planted a desire for these children in our hearts but love, it grows out of those seeds as they are nurtured. It doesn't spring up over night. It takes time. I knew the reality. I knew it would be hard and I knew we would struggle. But knowing is not the same as living it. I knew we were doing what God wanted us to do.
A picture shows a smile but behind the smile is so much more. When our kids came for real, there were times when I wasn't sure I even like them and wondered how I could fall in love with them! I was scared I was failing as a mom to these kids who so desperately needed me to succeed. I was aware of all the possible issues they COULD come to us with. I wasn't prepared to deal with them on a heart level.
|Madi and Lydia|
Gabby had always been so easy. They were too hard, too loud, too scarred. Why couldn't they just fit into our family? Had God chosen the right parents for these children? Was I going to do more damage than good?
|Will and Gabby|
We have learned with our puppy, to put valuables up high and not to freak too much when he chews through the rung of a chair. His hyperness is calming down occasionally, giving us all hope for the future. But we're becoming used to it. And at times, it's even becoming endearing! We've adjusted and he's becoming trained (sort of) in how we want him to act.
Our kids are loud, they run through the house, they argue and hit, but thankfully none of them chews on the furniture! Somehow, instead of "fitting in" to our family the way it was, we have begun to fit to each other.
Those seeds of desire that God planted have begun to blossom in to enjoying and loving my children; And knowing they are mine.